Christine Caine is an Australian activist, evangelist, international speaker, and author. She has written several books, and with her husband, Nick, …
“Sometimes when you are in a dark place, you think you have been buried, but actually you have been planted.” (Christine Caine)
A myriad of experiences leaves us confused, engaged, wanting
Seeking answers, responses, reflections
Is she coming or going
Or possibly just following her star
Her fate
A toe in one water
A hand in another jar
A goodness abounds for she is a giver
But she asks where to give
Who to direct energy towards
She is in search
She bestows a magic upon
Those whom cross her way
Touching evocatively yet ephemerally
Planting a seed
Hoping it grows
Into what she asks
But does she really want to know.
Is the direction important to her
Or is it just the motion
Dervish as it is
To keep a spirit frenetic
Waxing a word poetic
Remaining at times ascetic
She sits in her moment
Aspiring for clarity
For her next third
A good soul
She deserves what she has shared
Humanity, kindness, blessings
Laughter, tears, dreams and fears
And of course, a welcoming love.
Walk with pride even if the direction is cloudy
She will find her place, and her peace.
Heal dear soul
Through moments in time
A love lost too soon
Not planned or well primed
The pain he endured
Can never be known
So reflect on the memories
Three lives deeply sown
He may be gone from your sight
The lives now apart
His soul will never go
Let it rest in your heart
Surely sadness remains
With the shedding of tears
But remember the laughter
You shared through the years
See him in nature
The winds as they blow
Plant a seed, watch a tree
forever as it grows
he is with you in spirit
never far from your side
every step that you take
he gives strength to your stride
Remember his ember
The light of his way
His love will be eternal
And shine bright on you each day.
Ten
years
ago,
I thought
I had
a
future looking
forward
Ten years
hence,
I have
seen
a
wasted
decade
Creativity
flowed,
family
and
friends
filled
the
room
and
filled
my
heart,
Just
ten
years
ago.
Really
don’t know
what
happened
Seemed
to
have
fallen
off
the
grid
My
connectivity
to
society
short-‐circuited.
Lost
in
a
mesmerizing mettle
of
dissolution,
disgust
and
despair
Lost
the
fight,
lost
the
direction,
lost
the
mission
And
what’s worse
than
everything,
is
that
I don’t
know how
to
begin
again
Digging
deep
in
my
soul,
I dwell
on
demons
and
deficiencies,
desperate
for
someone
or
something
to
hang
onto.
My
leadership
of
myself
has
given
way
to
a
no
confidence
vote.
In
my
head,
the
synapses
still
fire,
but
the
anguish
of
not
failures,
but
rather
lack
of
successes,
envelope
me
and
cast
me
into
a
catatonic
state,
immobile
and
watching
the
world
go
by.
Motivation
is
lost.
Embarrassment is
rampant.
I
listen
to
my
heartbeat.
It
pounds
at
time.
It
tightens
up
at
moments.
It
races.
I
pray
at
times
it
just
fades
and
fades,
slowly
and
quietly,
and
then stops.
I
find
myself
removed
from
the
reality
I watch
go
by.
Cathartic,
I find
writing
a
release,
an
ascetic
poetic.
This
life
I have
known
for
ten
years
has
been
lonely
beyond
reproach,
beyond
imagination,
indelibly
etching
a
callousness,
a
numbing,
an
anasthetic
on
emotions
except
those
that
are
sheer
negativity.
I
reflect
back
constantly,
not
pleased
with
what
I have
done
or
accomplished,
and
yet,
even
the
occasional
fire
within,
it is
doused
with
self-‐doubt and
fatigue.
And
then
the
loneliness
prevails.
When
youre
down,
it
is
nice
to
have
someone
pick
you
up,
dust
you
off,
and
pat
your
back,
before
going
back
in
the
ring.
When
you
are
lonely, and
yes,
depressed,
you
find
there
is
no
one
to
support
the
downer
except
yourself.
Increasingly
difficult
if
one’s attitude
grazes
the
depths.
So
how
do
you
break
out
of
maelstrom?
How
do
you
leave
behind
the
darkness?
How
do
you
get
your
life
back
on
track?
At
this
point
in
life,
though
one
can
ask
question
after
question,
I receive
no
answers,
prayers
are
not
responded
to,
and
wishes
are
only
wasted
energy.
Everything
in
life
is
a
defeat,
and
that’s as
I watch
others
continue
to
win.
Heartbreaking,
heart
wrenching,
exhausting.
Just
no
fun.
And
lost.
I
wish
for
those
ten
years
back
You’ve labeled me a friend
Maybe til the end
Our moments are brilliant
Energy a soar
A chat, a glass, a kiss
Never ever to bore
Shall remember you always
For the sparkle you shine
Endeared in my heart
And hope in yours a bit of mine
Missives and memories
In times so sublime
We listened as we glistened
Such moments of life’s time.
Sweet lady I adore
For your infectious caprice
Mona Lisa has nothing
On you, the true masterpiece
The sands fall swift
In our life’s hourglass
Your touch has been such
Any words shant trespass
My mind rests in the clouds
So much noise to contend
Yet I reflect and confect
Upon you my dearest friend
We can pose a rather unlettered query, such as what is life? But let’s unpack that a bit. We can assume life goes on forever, and we proceed from baby to child to adult to parent to grandparent. We just assume life will move in that course. How would one’s attitude change if the rules were different, namely if you were given a fixed period of time to live. Say 75 years. Get to the 75 mark and all ends. Would you conduct your life any different than now? Not suggesting a physical malady or disease. Just a mere timeclock. What if you are told your ticket lasts until 55? And say you knew that was the deal when you’re at 53. How would you live your next 2 years? We have this incumbent assumption that life will continue. No estimation of a demise. Just live as it goes. How different one’s views, and I submit, the behaviors would change if the time ahead was knowingly finite not infinite. By rule, by statute, by the law of life, you have five years, or two, or maybe six months. You are born and at say 21, you are provided your “life’s contract”. You will expire at 35. Would your focus or priorities or practices change? Would the people you see be different? Would it be friends or family? And who? Would you have your own family? Would the things you both want to do, as well as accomplish, be different if you knew you had not an eternity to accomplish them. This may be a new psychological and philosophical premise.
One’s attitude in life is determined by one’s perceived demise. Most have the view of forever or at least uncertainty. For those inflicted with stage 4 cancer, given months to live, how do her priorities and life’s attitude change? Do the brain’s synapses fire variantly or adjust? Do our emotions reorient and adapt? Does expectation of demise alter our psyche, what we think about and who, does it change our fundamental chemistry? Does it elongate or compress the periods ahead? If we knew the mortal end was near as opposed to decades off, how do we change, and how might we interact differently. Assume you had a “life contract” of only one year. At that time mortal life is ceased. How would you decide on actions forward? Would it be for you, or them, or we, or they? Whose playbook do you follow? And if time now becomes ever more precious because of a known expiry, might you embark on relationships and experiences to enhance and maximize your remaining time. Would life be bundled with more power and emotion for that time? Would you accomplish more, love more, experience more because you can see the finish line? The psyche would seem to change. And might one not enjoy that tsunami of personal richness during that intensive period, as she concludes there is nothing to lose. So I pose my observation and thesis. Why don’t we live life with such expected passion and fervor anyway, regardless if we are not subject to the finite law of life, a pre-determined life contract. We postpone, we defer, we procrastinate, we put off a call to or a coffee with a friend or loved one til next week or beyond. Shouldn’t we embrace the moment as if it may be one of our last?
A story told about a mind in fold
You’re on the ledge, too near the edge
Clouds and darkness not my friend
Demons speak, it is the end
What say you, keep in the light
Just one more day, that is my right
Do I toss it in, a path to go
Yet a moment present says although
A wink, a chat, a contemporant thought
Preserve the moment, a magnificent lot
Make the demons yield, hold them at bay
Capture a dream that gives you another day
Just one is what you need, adjust your crazed speed
No time to heed, oh how to be freed
Come back to the moment, please no circumscribe
Stay with us, and cheer us, we love you, we are your tribe
Oh. What bird might I see you to be, my love? A swan for sheer reverence. A dove for your peacefulness. A peacock for the various colors you expose. An owl for your sagacity. Of course a hummingbird for your energy. Maybe a bit of duck for the eclectic sounds when you sleep. Newly a pigeon. But though it be a flower, as you are, a bird of paradise.
The light of the night, the soul of the stroll
The scale of the trail, a knoll of console
The time so sublime, new friends til the end
No care in the air, only moments to pen
A case to embrace, be it rhyme or a verse
Highlight what you write, a prayer or a curse
Your flight to Dolomite, no storm only warm
Remember the ember, a moment to transform
Exile any guile, disband all the labels
The elation of constellations, you’re scribing a fable
Make a moment to own it, a puzzle with missing piece
Now complete, quite discrete, provokes her release
Don’t deny the butterfly, a token of an omen
The touch was just such, a soul no longer broken
This dally in the valley, the heather and the feather
Your stand and your hand, are altering the weather
A lift of your gift, in this prime of your time
Needs a thanks that is frank, please continue to rhyme
So compose with repose, shining grace on your space
Lay missives and memories, forever to encase
Bask in your last days, what a wonderous time
A holiday distinct, ne’er forget this summertime
CM 0818
crazedmusings 