My last few months have been a roller coaster, with the track having much longer and faster down slopes and an occasional flatness. It has been amazing that there hasn’t been a rising track for sometime. Until maybe the last few days. Earlier in the week, I found myself in urgent care at the med center. Not for a physical malady, rather the (mental) downer I was on excessively disturbed me, so thus I sought assistance. While I was frustrated at the wait to see a doc, and a bit tired from not sleeping for about seven days, I had an epiphany seeing so many others that seemed to have many more issues than me. Flashed me back to years ago with some of my charity work. Spent a lot of time with the physically and mentally handicapped. Both the here and now, and the back then, one (me) fails to remember that while one has full capability of his faculties, others have real challenges, many times extremely severe. A good wake up call, as I was in a very down state, but seeing and remembering, made me realize that I am one of the fortunate. While I do know that the little charges in my head don’t work right, which causes in large part my depression, it is a amazing what a dose of another reality can do to change a view, a mood, an attitude, even if for only a moment. Across the waiting room, I saw a father concerned for his son, sitting next to him. They seemed to be having a conversation, not about what was ailing his son. Rather, about the book his father was reading. The Secret. Recall the “new age” bible of some years back. I remember giving a copy or two out as Christmas presents, one to my ex-wife, the year it came out. After she read it, I ended up borrowing it. Again, many years back. Guess I never returned it.
Anyway, since I had it, I pulled it out of the bookshelves and begin a re-read. Funny how something you read at a particular time, can just grab you, shake you up, and bring some clarity to obfuscation. The essence of the book is that the nature of the energy and thought we put out there which comes back the same way, creating a domino effect….the Secret is the law of attraction….send out bad vibes, you get more coming at you, and for a depressive, that’s not good, possibly lethal. Send out good vibes, wishing for what you want and where you want to be, rather than dwelling on what you don’t have and where you are. Sending good energy attracts good energy back to you. New age-y right.
Anecdotally, studying a bit about quantum physics (right…), I remembered a little exercise my feng shui advisor showed me, by placing a pendulum over one of my palms, the pendulum moved in a circular fashion. Moved it to the other palm, it swung back and forth like a metronome. Then flipping my hands over and allowing the pendulum to move (on its own), the opposite action occured, namely the palm that created the circular motion and now on the backhand, it was moving back and forth, like the other palm. Even the most feeble mind can wonder about this. Something was causing the movement, and it wasn’t the inanimate pendulum. I was emitting something to manifest the movement. But not one movement but two distinct movements. My advisor said that we emit energy, causing things to happen around us. And as we emit it we also receive. And in different types and ways.
And then take it back to the Secret. I guess it’s not just the quantity of the energy that radiates, but also the quality. Certainly I believe we cast of some type of energy field, but can it be right that if I send out something it will attract something back of similar nature? Whether right or wrong, there is a bit of logic here. But I am convinced we do have an energy that we exude. In fact, my kids demonstrated the exercise for their science classes.
This is definitely not an endorsement of a book, or even of the psyche ward. It became another epiphany. Could I change the domino downer by shifting my thoughts to what I dream for in the future, rather than dwell in the doldrums of my mind about the past and present? And those thoughts and vibes attract the same type of energy, so good stuff (love, happiness, health, wealth, etc) comes back my way? Well, it was worth a try but not easy for someone who has seen, in fact lived, in a glass half empty.
So I thought of what I desired and, as suggested in the book, visualized it as though you have it, it is there, you can embrace it, whatever it may be. Maybe simple, but thru the nite, I wanted two people to call me on the phone, whom I have been trying to reach for months, having left growingly frustrated messages. But with good mental intentions that evening, I envisaged having the most delightful conversation with both the following day. Next morning, the phone rings…twice. Back to back, after months, both folks called, and yes the calls were great. Circumstantial? Curious? Coincidental? Possibly. But very weird. Mind over matter? You tell me.
But there is something to be said about thinking and wishing forward, underscore wishing, rather than thinking and sinking into continued and deeper shit. Maybe a bit idealistic, reckless, frothy, trippy, yet certainly healthier than the flip side. I know the downer causes further downers, and seems like everything just steamrolls in the same direction. So let’s reverse the conditions, at least in one’s mind. And then the energy field thing … thank you, feng shui, for showing me.
So, as I finished the book in a single sitting, I concluded that there was a reason that the father son team in waiting room had the book and I just happened to notice it. Maybe coincidental, but for this particular mind, it became like a touch of magic, or good energy, to grasp on to. Even if this is a mere temporary upper, I will enjoy it (and believe it ) as I can.
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